Why Do Guys Cheat?

For months, he has been behaving differently. First, he started working longer hours. Then, he completely changed his look and suddenly started exercising like he was competing in a triathlon. Maybe at first, you just thought he was going through a mid life crisis. But then, he became less affectionate and your sex life has become nonexistent. He leaves your presence, when he takes calls and he is always broke. Maybe, he has become very short tempered or becomes defensive, when you ask him where he has been.

Your "He's Cheating DAR" has probably been going off for some time now. You have probably attempted to broach the subject with him several times. Only to be accused of being insecure and ridiculous. But today was different. Because today he broke your heart by finally admitting what you already knew. He has been cheating on you.

I can only imagine the pain a woman must feel upon finding out that their husband has been unfaithful. The fear, anger and sadness must be overwhelming. Your survival instincts are undoubtedly kicking in.

Now, is not the time to decide whether to end your marriage or not. You need time to put things into perspective. Do not allow others to pressure you into a decision. During this period, it is important to turn to your friends and family for support. Be careful to seek objective help. The last thing you need right now, is someone telling you, "I told you so". Your natural tendency will be to think about the "other woman". Don't! Avoid this pitfall at all cost. Obsessing over her will only further bring you down, emotionally.

It really does not matter what he says the reason was. You most likely, are still asking yourself, why? The answer is difficult for most women to understand. Mainly, because men view sex as only physical. Unlike women, men do not experience an emotional connection during sex.

Having established that, you should know that men have a huge appetite for sex. We need it consistently and it can't be boring. If sex becomes boring a man will most likely stop being turned on by his partner. Men have huge egos that require stroking from time to time. And finally, men cannot stand a nag.

Here it is in a nutshell, if you are a woman that is constantly complaining. Never compliments your man and comes to bed in tube socks and sweats. Rarely has sex with him, then lies there like a dead fish, when you do. Your not making it easy for your man to turn down that new hot secretary at work.

At this point you might be saying, "wait a minute, I am a tigeress in bed, I never complain and I compliment him all the time." In that case you are most likely in love with a dog. Now, to some extent all men are dogs. Whether your husband as cheated on you or not, you have undoubtedly caught him eyeing another woman. This being the case, you should understand what I mean.

However, there are a great number of men out there that view women, only as sexual objects. The thrill for them is not the conquest. It is in fact, the hunt. Like a lion, they are constantly on the prowl for prey. Each sexual conquest is a type of sexual trophy that somehow makes these dogs feel like men. They broadcast their deeds to any male friend that will listen. Unfortnately, if you have fallen victim to this type of man, there is not much for you to do, but get out.

You will have to answer this question for yourself. If you are contemplating whether to forgive him or not, you will first, have to do a careful self examination. You most likely will be unable to forgive him, if you have not first worked through your own anger and grief. Also, most victims of infidelity, male or female, come to feel inadequate. As if there is something wrong with them, physically. It will be difficult. But, you must not blame yourself. Despite the excuses your husband gives for his unfaithfulness, it had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Once you have come to terms with your feelings. Then and only then, should you decide whether you can truly forgive him. If you do decide to forgive him. It is important to remember that your forgiveness does not constitute an acceptance of his behavior. Nor can you allow yourself to dwell on the pain anymore. You will have to abstain from bringing his unfaithfulness up in arguments. If you can achieve these things then you will successfully heal yourself. Healing yourself must come before making him feel that everything is okay.